I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
