Christians are straight up FREAKS
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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