I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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