My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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