I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize