last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize