I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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