I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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