we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
