small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
