adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
