I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
