marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
