No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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