careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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