last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize