I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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