Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
