I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
