also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
