I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
