We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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