She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
