Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
