you guys were way drunker than both of me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
