...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
