She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize