I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
