Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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