I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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