i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
