is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
