The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
