yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
