we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
