Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
