It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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