It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I deserve this hangover.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
