too bad you live with your parents still
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
