Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
and you fell through a lawn chair
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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