...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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