I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
