i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
