One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
