oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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