Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
