Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize