he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
