idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
