It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
