I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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