How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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