Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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