I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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