About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Damn victory sex feels great
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
