happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
