she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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