And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
