There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want to make out with him forever
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
