I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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