toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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